It is ALWAYS a dangerous thing to combine young men and too much spare time. Such is the case of Kyle and his platoon as they await departure to their COB (Combat Operations Base).
After 3 days of maneuvers and training (Kyle's favorite aspect of the Army), the last couple days have been spent sitting around, eating, sleeping and trying to stay cool (temps over 120). This leaves too much time to create things to do - usually involving spending money - and food ... which is what they spend their money on. A typical day in this holding facility begins with a 3am Starbucks run, followed by a little sleep and iPod time before chow at 5:30am. After a hearty meal of Army breakfast, they return to their air conditioned tent for some more sleep. On these really hot days their activity is limited and dictated by an Army scale that determines how many minutes/hour they can work based on temperature and humidity. After a morning nap they head out for Starbucks or lunch at their choice of Chili's, Taco Bell, KFC or Burger King. After lunch it is probably time for a nap. You get the picture ...
So today one of Kyles NCO's (Non-Commissioned Officer ... in this case a Sgt.) said, "Egghead, lets take a Starbucks run." Never wanting to disappoint a ranking officer Kyle obliged the Sgt. After coffee the Sgt. said, "I've always wanted a pedicure- go with me." Again, Kyle did as he was told. After 3 hours waiting at the Spa, watching the Sgt. get his toe nails done, Kyle said, "If you are going to make me sit and watch this, then you are going to have to get a tummy wax." The Sgt. (possibly not the sharpest tool in the shed), thought it sounded interesting. A little hot wax later, both Kyle and the Sgt. were fighting back tears - Kyle from laughter and the Sgt. for obvious reasons. As the Sgt. screamed at the departure of each follicle, the entire spa - filled with nothing but Army personnel - roared with laughter. At the end of the ordeal, the Sgt. grabbed his uniform and bolted from the Spa, only to be caught out of uniform by some ranking officers. Needless to say - Kyle is probably looking at more push ups as a result of his "good" idea. He did suggest that this would have been a great time for a camera.
Can I just tell you, Soldiers with nice toe nails and a smooth torso, is not exactly my picture of "Army Strong." Oh well, what do I know? It does seem, however, that these soldiers better get to their COB before they all look like a cover models for GQ (or a Vogue Magazine).
Kyle thinks that he is beginning to get acclimated. He said it was 85 degrees at 10pm last night and he was cold. Can you imagine?
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